The Tune-up Case

"Picture it. It's the year two thousand. A new century has begun. The crime rate is peaking. And the majority of McDonald's ice cream machines are out of order- making the hardships of the world progress faster than inflation prices. But amongst the chaos, one man decides to lend his help to this deteriorating society.” Richard's voice added a ray of emotion to the once quiet detective office. He was thirty, pale, blond, and could look like a chad if it wasn’t for the brown fedora and trench coat.

“Mr. Jenkins.” The tired woman spoke, rubbing her eyebags. “You're here for a job interview, not tell your version of this moment through the point of view of an omniscient narrator. Whether you’ll solve any cases is up to your skillset.” Olivia was her name, and getting aggravated at sub-par law enforcement was her game. She was twenty-eight, with tan skin, neck-length hair which frayed at the ends, and lavender eyes resembling only the rarest of gems- exactly what every main character needed to differentiate them from the rest of the cast.

“But it’s a great conversation starter!”

“So is "hello," yet I didn't get one." She furrowed her brows, playing with a golden brooch on her uniform. She had been interviewing dozens of clients that day who had the sudden urge to become a detective. Though she found most of them didn't pass primary school.

“Gah, you’re such a mood killer." Richard threw his head back with a groan. "Gimmie a chance will ya!” He slapped his resume on the desk, grinning now.

She looked over it, immediately tossing it aside.

“What?" He looked disappointed.

“The resume is empty except for “experience” which you put, ‘I watched Mission Impossible,’ and a drawing of a smiley face.”

“You'd think that would count for something right?”

Her frown only grew deeper.

“Aw come on, you're too pretty to frown.”

“Your compliments don't amuse me.”

“They're not made to. They're supposed to- well- compliment."

"Look, Mr. Jenkins, I appreciate your offer, but we're looking for serious candidates.”

“I am serious!” He grew frustrated. “Plus you guys are low on staff. I’m your only chance.” His smile turned devilish.

“I think we’ll live. We’re currently dealing with the 'Tune-Up' case, which isn’t for the inexperienced.”

“Tuna case?”

“No, Tune-Up. It’s the name of the drug our suspect Oswald is selling.”

“His name is Oswald...Oswald?” Richard laughed.

She ignored this. “It's extremity dangerous and highly illegal.”

“Like Kinder Eggs.”

“Whatever works for you.” She placed two photos on the desk. One was a picture of the suspect who looked like a classic Disney Villain, and the other was of the pink pill he was selling.

"It improves your brain activity and speeds up your thought process- allowing the consumer to think of more solutions out of a problem in milliseconds, hence the name 'Tune-Up'. A true lifesaver at family reunions."

"If that's the case, this might help you guys.” He pulled out a small object from his coat pocket.

“What the hell is that?" She snapped, her full attention now on him.

"I thought it was a Pez someone dropped. I was gonna eat it until you showed me what the drug looked like."

She flew over the desk and grabbed it, knocking everything down in the process. “Oh my god... this is the pill! We’ve been trying to get a sample of this for ages...where did you get it?!” She squawked in desperation, getting close to his face which made him giggle.

“Your eyes are a bit too lovely for someone who looks like an overworked Dora the Explorer-”

“WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!”

“Alright alright chill. I found it on my way here when I stopped at a restaurant that my buddy Jim works at. It was on the ground.”

“Which restaurant?”

“Restaurant chic.” He faked an over-the-top French accent.

She pondered over this realization with careful intent when the door to her office burst open.

“Ms. Lionheart!” It was her overly passionate boss Bob. Bob the boss. What a ring it had. “I overheard your guy’s entire conversation on my way to the bathroom that totally isn’t an excuse for eavesdropping, and I need you to hire this man now.”

“But sir, I can’t-”

“You can and you will.” He pointed at Richard whose face lit up with excited expectation. "You young man.”

“Yes sir?"

"I don't know who the hell you are, but you're hired."

“But sir!" Olivia protested. “He has no experience!”

“Who needs experience when you’ve watched Mission Impossible! That’s how your old man got in.” He gloated.

She sunk into her seat. “I got my Ph.D. for this.”

“Besides, he found the pill didn’t he?" Bob added.

“Yes but-"

“No buts. I won't hear another word. We need someone on the case immediately." Bob turned to Richard. "Now Mr. Jenkins. I want you and Olivia to go down to the place you found the pill and investigate from there. I will phone you if we get any leads."

“Yes sir.” Richard and Olivia said in unison.

Though Richard sounded ecstatic- Olivia drawled her words.

“You’re such a drag. I bet I can make us get along by the end of the day. Not like we have a choice anyway.” He teased in a mocking tone, making her question if he was being serious.

She gave an angry laugh. "Oh, you're on dollar store Sherlock."

*****

Richard sat them down at Restaurant Chic, which she found most literally translated to, 'Fancy Restaurant.'

"God, the owner was lazy," she muttered.

"Hey there Jim. Me and the young lady will have your house special. Make it quick, we're on a mission." Richard said to his waiter buddy.

“Mission?” Jim repeated. “You mean to tell me that you actually got that job?"

"Yep," Richard said with pride before sipping his water and choking on it.

Olivia sighed. “We're here to find the man behind the 'Tune-Up' case.”

“You mean that drug guy?”

“Indeed. And Richard found one of his pills on the ground here. So either the dealer himself or someone who bought it was here.”

"I did see someone taking a pill earlier. He had an old blue coat on for reference- the only guy I’ve seen wear one in the dead of summer. Aside from you.” He gestured to Richard who smiled.

"What color were the pills?" Olivia asked in all seriousness.

“I'm not sure, but I think they were purple possibly?"

“That’s it.” She stood from the chair, aggression in her movements. “Where did he go?”

“I saw him stop at the ice cream parlor down the street-”

They both ran off.

“What about your food!" Jim called as two bowls of soup were brought out from the kitchen.

Richard ran back. He took a large gulp of the soup and said, "Thanks a million." He winked, tossing some money at Jim.

“That’s not enough to pay for-” But it was too late, for they were long gone.

They made it to the ice cream shop where they both cut in line.

"Hey!" An angry lady scolded.

Olivia showed her badge wordlessly which made the lady back down.

“Oi.” She turned to the man running the parlor. “We got word that a man with a blue coat came here to buy ice cream from you?"

“Er- yeah, there was a guy with a blue coat here. Strange man he was. Are you two cops or something?"

"Detectives to be more specific.”

“Can you tell us where the guy went?" Richard said with haste as he leaned over the counter.

“He headed down to that building. Into the movie theater, I think." The man pointed to a strip mall where the movie theater was.

“Thank you. Now two mint chocolate ice cream cones please!" Demanded Richard.

The man gave him the ice cream which Richard paid for by dropping a handful of change and running off.

The ice cream man looked dumbfounded at the money. “That's not even enough for one cone-" But it was too late, for they were long gone.

Richard handed one to Olivia who threw it away.

They made it inside the movie theater and crashed into the counter, knocking down the popcorn machine.

“Can I...help you two?" Asked the teenage girl working at the counter.

“Yes. Did you happen to see a man with a blue coat walk in here?" Olivia was out of breath.

"Yeah, there was.”

“Which room did he go into?"

“Room 15...hey- are you two cops? Because I can't just people in without a ticket."

Olivia and Richard showed their badges.

“You can go in ma’am, but your badge is a piece of notebook paper with a star drawn in crayon sir.”

“What can I say? I like to put in my effort." His face was smug.

“Sorry but-”

“We're in a hurry, no time to question his clearly fake badge, bye!” This time Olivia was the one to drag him away.

Though he ran back to grab a bag of popcorn, throwing money at the girl who said, “That’s not enough to pay for the popcorn!” But it was too late, for they were long gone.

“You have a pretty strong grip for such a small lady!" He said after a minute.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?” She smiled cheekily at him, entering the theater.

“Well, you can you give a mighty good hug-"

She grabbed him by his collar. "I'll give you a hug so tight you'll forget you even had lungs.”

"I like the confidence!"

“Shhh!" The audience said.

They realized they were standing in front of the movie screen. “Sorry." They said together- embarrassed.

She searched the room as Richard finished his bag of popcorn and stole another one from a random guy.

“That was mine!”

“Finders keepers!"

Olivia ignored her partner, trying to focus on her pounding heart after spotting the man in the blue coat.

She whispered to Richard, “I see him. Act casual and follow my lead.”

He followed her into the seats next to Oswald.

Olivia composed herself.

“You know, I heard amazing reviews about this movie," Richard said through a mouthful of popcorn and pointing at the screen.

Olivia slapped his arm before coughing purposefully which got Oswald's attention.

She noticed a jar of the pills in his pocket and knew she had her man. “Hey sir, do you mind passing me that napkin over there?" She subtly showed her holstered gun before whispering, “Don’t make this difficult.”

Oswald laughed quietly, revealing his own holstered gun.

“I thought that model hasn’t been released yet?” Richard whispered in awe.

“I got it on pre-order actually,” Oswald said causally before whipping it out and shooting it next to Olivia’s ear. It instead hit a bag of popcorn at the end of the aisle.

"That was the only bag of popcorn I had left!” The same man from before shouted as the rest of the crowd screamed.

“You okay?” Richard checked her in a panic.

“Yeah, it missed. Now quick, follow that man!” They both followed him with guns out. (Richard’s having crayon doodles on it)

Oswald knocked down an array of items on his way to block their path. Of these many items included the popcorn stand.

“I just set that backup!” The girl complained.

"Not the time, just don’t let him out of that exit!" Olivia shouted.

The few employees ran to the exit and locked it before diving back behind the counter.

The exit may not have been an option, but the pill was. Oswald swallowed one of them.

"Wonderful." Olivia rolled her eyes, watching Richard aim his gun at random locations in the room- struggling to locate their target. “Dude, he’s literally right in front of you.” However, she didn’t have time to point him in the right direction, for Richard pushed her behind the counter to avoid another bullet.

Oswald was now grabbing random items around the room with intense speed. They didn't know what he was doing until his make-shift craft formed a slingshot.

“That pill got his brain pumping,” Olivia's voice was now raspy.

Oswald grabbed a part of the broken popcorn machine and put it in the contraption. The metal flew, breaking the lock system which triggered the alarm.

“Aaand there he goes,” She was filled with disappointment.

“It’s still worth a shot though.” Richard ran off.

“You sure as hell better wait for me you ball of fucking sunshine!”

They raced through crowds, crashed over baby carriages, and hopped over benches- the sheer excitement making Olivia feel better than she had before. It was a vast improvement from being stuck in her office like most days.

Richard gave her a reassuring smile.

She felt oddly safe in his presence, as did he. They got to the end of the bridge where Oswald never looked forward, causing him to trip over it.

They ran to the ledge as Oswald grasped Olivia’s brooch as a last attempt to pull himself up.

It only ripped the brooch off her uniform.

“Wait!” She screamed, more upset about losing her brooch than losing the target. He conveniently landed in a crate full of items on a boat below, and she fought the urge to scream from frustration.

"I need back up on Spring Street.” She spoke to Bob on her walkie-talkie, angry tears in her eyes. “The asshole jumped onto a boat.”

“We'll be there pronto. Hold your position.”

“So uh...That was exhilarating huh?" Richard sat on the bridge, trying to converse.

She sat next to him in silence, her tears finally spilling.

“What's wrong?”

“My grandmother gave me that brooch before she died."

"Oh." He sat awkwardly, not knowing how to comfort her.

"And on top of that, I have to take responsibility for every case thrown at our agency because people like you are too incompetent to handle their jobs.” Her tone was filled with more hurt than anger.

Pestering guilt flooded him like an overfilled glass. “Sorry… I suck I know. I got this job as more of a childhood dream than anything else. I should have left it to you."

It was quiet as her own guilt piled on. “No…you meant well, and I appreciate you trying. The brooch isn't your fault... A lot of this wasn't your fault. To give credit where credit is due, we wouldn’t have gotten this far if you hadn’t found that pill to begin with.”

"That was an accident though.”

"But you have a keen eye for small things."

“Fair.”

The two dangled their legs over the bridge as the sun slowly hid below the buildings- leaving nothing but the stars and lights from the city to show them their way home.

"Thanks for putting up with me," he said genuinely after a while.

She felt a tug at her lips. "And thanks for actually following my lead. can't remember the last time someone actually listened."

“Olivia!” Her walkie-talkie blared with Bob’s voice which startled her.

"What?!"

“We located Oswald. He only got one block out after the ship docked. Go. Fly my pretties!”

“On it, also never say that again.” She hung up.

They bolted down the bridge.

Richard got distracted by something on the ground which made her yell at him to follow.

They eventually arrived at the location.

Oswald came into sight, turning into a dark ally.

“How do you suppose we catch him?” Richard asked.

“Simple. Think smart.”

“Huh?”

“He may be able to think faster, but the pill doesn’t make him smarter.” She grabbed two pieces of scrap steal from a trashed machine and handed him one. “Block with this.”

Oswald turned with the gun pointed at them. “Don’t move or I'll shoot.”

“Please do," she said.

“You got a weird way of workin' lady.” He fired.

They blocked the bullets with the metal and jumped behind the dumpster.

“Waste his bullets.” She whispered.

Richard nodded

Oswald awkwardly jumped on the wall like an X-man from Wish, firing in their direction.

They continued to hide and block their bodies until Olivia fell down, dramatically holding her side.

"One down, one to go.” Oswald smiled.

"Shit." Richard checked her but found she was holding back a laugh.

“His gun model can only hold twenty-six bullets, he’s fired twenty-five."

“I see." He smiled. "You’re a smart girl.” He dogged the next bullet but fell down anyway while holding his “injured” arm.

Oswald soon found the gun empty. “Who cares, I did my part." Just as he ran away, a police car came and ran him over.

“We're here with back up, where is he?!” Bob came out along with three officers, guns at the ready.

“Probably dead at this rate.” Olivia sat up, rubbing her head.

“Why, what happened?” He noticed Oswald on the ground. “Ohhhh… did I do that?”

Olivia and Richard nodded.

“Oops…welp, job well done anyway.” He said boastfully as the officers arrested Oswald who was groggily sitting up.

“Here." Richard pulled something out of his pocket.

“What's that?”

"Remember when you said I’m good at noticing small things?"

“Yeah, so?”

“Weeell-” He revealed her brooch. “This is why I stopped under the bridge.”

She gasped. “Oh, Richard… thank you.”

He clipped it back to her uniform as her warm smile grew.

“Dinner, ice cream, and a movie. I’d say today went pretty well.” He grinned.

“Sounds more like a date from hell.”

“Well, your hell is my heaven, Ms. Lionheart…brave as one too.” He bent down and kissed her hand which she accepted.

“I won the bet," he said after a moment.

She fought with her smile. “I’ll give you that much.”

"I hate to ruin the moment, but you two are also being charged with theft from three different establishments." Bob cut in.

They looked at each other, both exhausted. "Fuck."