Building your self-worth with patience…Wait no come back I need that.
Patience. You know, that thing that helps us tolerate shitty days? Yeah, where did it go again? Oh, that’s right, it’s on the end of my last thread. :)
No, but seriously, feeling impatient as you wait for your life to magically align with your childhood dreams like an overused Disney plotline is normal. Seriously Disney we’ve had enough remakes. But I digress.
It’s only been three months since I basically ran away from my mother in the arms of my prince charming and rode our horse into the sunset, and I’m already beating myself for not having a perfect life and career set up for myself when I haven’t even set up my own furniture to store my still unpacked items. Hell, not even a week into leaving I was already trying to drop out of college to start my career with basically zero experience. I’ve always been a “go-getter” or whatever the hell people call it these days. It’s frustrating when things don’t work out immediately. But what’s the best solution you may ask? Well, I was actually going to ask you the same thing. But since neither of us knows, I’ll go with what life has taught me since I think personal experience provides better advice than resources that bullshit their way into advice circles for either attention or wealth.
My key component to not going insane during times of desperation and depression about my self-worth is: Patience to have patience. Yes, we’re doing some inception shit here so bear with me. From my experience, the feeling of hopelessness and failure usually subsides after taking a break, getting some sleep, and eating some Doritos (this part’s crucial). Whenever one opportunity fails, another one comes up, then that one fails, but I always learn something from my failures and rejections whether big or small. An oversaid statement, I know. But it’s true. And it really does take experiencing these important failures to earn why they’re important. Then soon another opportunity comes up and- well- you get the point. It may feel like an endless cycle to success, but the knowledge that I’m already doing better than before makes me feel slightly better. (I’m still not earning enough cha ching to be satisfied but I‘ll get to that.) Coming to think of it, those slugs from my backyard that I used to foster as a kid before accidentally killing them are probably making faster progress in their little slug heaven than I am right now, but progress is progress and I’ll take it.
Like Martin Luther King once said: “If you can’t fly, run. If you can’t run, walk. And if you can’t walk, crawl. But by all means, keep moving.”
I would say I’m somewhere at that crawling stage and those things baby caterpillars do within move their bodies up and down as a means of transportation. I’m moving that’s for sure. It’s pathetic and laughable, but I’m moving and I’m proud.
I tend to build my self-worth on how many accomplishments I have completed. I see people my age and younger already climbing the hill to fame with stable careers and enough followers to build a loyal army. Do I want that? Of course I do. Just as much as my dog wants that leftover bowl of chicken breasts in my fridge. But not everyone starts so luckily. Not everyone gets presented with a clear pathway to follow. Some people have to bitch slap the obstacles out of the way until there’s finally a rocky clearing to trudge through. And that’s sort of where I am now. But the real question is: will I take my own words of wisdom? Probably not. At least not right now. I’ll try though.
Why do people tend to not take their advice? I’m not quite sure, but I believe it’s a mixture of a lot of things. Maybe we think our advice isn’t worth it. Maybe our self-confidence is so bad we don’t even believe in our own morals. But whatever it is, I know I’ll eventually follow it once I get the patience too- well- look for more patience. It sounds stupid, but if it’s true, is it really stupid?
It takes patience to find more patience. It’s a draining cycle, but it will eventually land us somewhere if you just keep pushing through and gaining advice from others willing to help you achieve your goal. And soon that yellow brick road will lead you to your shiny emerald castle where everything is better. Not perfect, but better. You’ll still trip over that damn doormat and scream at the heavens to stop sending electric bills you swore you paid last week, but things will improve and you’ll see a more steady path and even steadier destination come your way.